ONE-LINERS!
- If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
- Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
- Sign on baby's bib: SPIT HAPPENS.
- ...Every morning is the dawn of a new error...
- For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
- I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...
- The beatings will continue until morale improves.
- I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
- Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.
- Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
- Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
- There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
- I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
- Ever stop to think, and forget to...?
- A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
- I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
- Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.
- If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
- Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.
- Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way.
- If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
- If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.
- If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.
- Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.
- It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
- Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
- Look out for #1. Don't step in #2.
- Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
- Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
- Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
- Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.
- Dain bramaged.
- Department of Redundancy Department
- Headline: Bear takes over Disneyland in Pooh D'Etat!
- What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.
- COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
- Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
- Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
- Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
- My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
- C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL
- C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN
- <-------- The information went data way -------->
- The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
- BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
- The name is Baud......, James Baud.
- BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
- Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
- C:\> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
- Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..
- Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"
- As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
- E Pluribus Modem
- ... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
- Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny
- An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.
- CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)?
- Does fuzzy logic tickle?
- A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord.
- Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
- Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
- SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
- Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?
- Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
- RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.
- Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
- All computers wait at the same speed.
- DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.
- Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
- Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
- E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.
- Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!
- All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
- Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
- Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
- Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...